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Forum:Florida Development
Why do you think the kingdom of Saraca is a bad idea C4? also, since this is a regional page why is there story element? couldn't these be posted on a separate page dedicated to writings while the Florida page could remained what it was supposed to be, a regional description and summary of the major history and factions in the area. this worked well in the New York page and it can work hear as long and we cooperate with one another. Templar88 23:22, 1 May 2009 (UTC) This sounds like a good system. Ok, I'll explain why I don't like the Kingdom section. You failed to mention how this settlement got it's start and that is important in good writing, you should explain why things go up to a certain point. Also, you made it seem like this one person had control over all of Sarasota, which no one person can expand that far. You should have stated that it was only a small section of Sarasota that was part of the Kingdom. Basically, what I would have liked to see was details. :you may not know this but Sarasota is not only a county in Florida but a real town as well. Now that being said you make many valid points, both in the above and below sections. the description given on the Florida page regarding the KoS was quite small and gave the reader direct and important information. yes this did not give the exact details in which the every thing to now about the area in question, but if it did it would read very ... mechanically... dry, and simple listing off facts in other then putting them in a interesting and collected manor. the original text was meant as a jumping off point and summary and does not deserve you unwarranted deletion without provocation. And yes, it is a regional page but that does not mean it has to lack a human side. If the reader is able to gather that the wastes are still in fact alive by reading a detailed description of different factions in the area then that means it is a success, sure it takes more time but it is worth it. Sentence long descriptions of factions are not worth reading honestly. The New York page is in my opinion very dull and too straight forward, and not worth the read. Composite 4 23:32, 1 May 2009 (UTC) :this is were we differ the most. I do not share these thought with you and in no other articles that i have read on this or other fanon or wiki pages do I see such a poetic manor in righting one informational pages such as this one. personally I hind it more difficult to understand what should be a simple summary to identify key information like your about comments. call me thick but I don't see why to do that, you certainly didn't do that in you Wyoming Region page. ::Perhaps you should put a summary of the settlement on the Florida page, then do a full write-up on a separate page. What would be the point? I mean, it would make the Florida page that much better if we gave details about separate factions. Composite 4 23:38, 1 May 2009 (UTC) :Up and to a point, yes. But if the faction has its own page, then a short summary (a few paragraph at most) detailing their interests and strength in the area would suffice, along with a link to the faction's main page. //--Run4urLife! 23:55, 1 May 2009 (UTC) C4 the whole point of the Florida page iss so that we inspire and set up a canon based setting so other and our selves can do that exact thing. The Florida page was never meant to be so one stop shop for every Florida. Yes a glossary, but not a whole book. that would be to much information, and that why the original page was hammer so regally. :Actually, it was bashed because it looked like it came into being when a four year old threw a fit on top of a keyboard. It was incoherent, with words running into words, very little punctuation and so little capitalisation that at times I wondered whether or not the full stops were there by accident. //--Run4urLife! 00:04, 2 May 2009 (UTC) I'm not suggesting that everyone put their faction information on the Florida page, I'm suggesting you give a detailed explanation of the faction you mention on the page. If you write to entertain people with your concepts and ideas then you should make sure your idea comes across clearly. You don't have to write the whole faction history, just basic things, such as *broken record* how it got it's start, what events led to a certain crucial point and when it got started. Composite 4 00:08, 2 May 2009 (UTC) :That's a reworded version of what I said two posts ago! //--Run4urLife! 00:10, 2 May 2009 (UTC) Well, if enough of us say it, maybe the Florida page won't turn into a boring carbon copy of the other states! Composite 4 00:11, 2 May 2009 (UTC) :Hmmmm. Might work. I'm scratching my chin in contemplation right now. //--Run4urLife! 00:13, 2 May 2009 (UTC) To reiterate, all I'm asking is, if you want to put a faction on the Florida page, there should be at least 3 paragraphs, with each paragraph having about 5-7 reasonably long sentences. Not one sentence that says "This is a faction, this is what it does." Composite 4 00:17, 2 May 2009 (UTC) ::not to be rude but it is a carbon copy. Templar88 00:16, 2 May 2009 (UTC) How so? Composite 4 00:17, 2 May 2009 (UTC) you down played the swamp, the florida state is almost ideantical to its 49 other conterpartes. also all of you storys thus fact are taken from the fallout cooky cuter book of post-apoc stories. Templar88 00:21, 2 May 2009 (UTC) I had to downplay it because everything you added made no sense. I mean, I got what you were trying to say but the way you worded it made it sound incoherent. I'm not sure if English is you first language or not but just because you want to be descriptive does not mean you can add a bunch of sentences and pretend they make sense. No offense intended. Composite 4 00:27, 2 May 2009 (UTC) And can you tell me exactly what is wrong with this?: "In 2078 the sheriff of Sarasota, Fredrick Willard Johnson had the police brutally take over the county of Sarasota in a desperate grasp for power. Later the Sheriff proclaimed himself king and turned the county into the kingdom of Sarasota. Many monarchs have ruled since Fredrick the blood thirsty, all of witch have had been from the Johnson line ruling from the Cà d'Zan Mansion within the settlement. Templar88 00:24, 2 May 2009 (UTC) Sentences start with capitals. So it should read I'''n 2078 bla bla bla. Radiation dropped in Florida 90 years after the great war, 2078 is one year after the war. You start out explaining the faction by jumping to the part where the settlement is taken over, so you have no idea what the settlement is like. Also, you make it seem like the kingdom encompasses all of Sarasota. And there are various spelling and grammar errors in it. Edit: Ok, you edited the capital thing, read my other suggestions ^^^ Composite 4 00:27, 2 May 2009 (UTC) as i have stated in many of my discussions with you radaition works differently in the fallout world. if you look at the time line on the vault wiki and also sincen to multiple NPC retelling of the great war, it is opsible for a small community, such as the area of saracota to "survive" to some regards. since it is a summary of event it can't go into great detail of every thing surrounding the history of settlement. and where are these various spelling and grammer mistakes? to me this summary describe the who, the what the ,the when, the where and the how. Templar88 00:37, 2 May 2009 (UTC) Ok, radiation is radiation, it is not plausible that 1 year after a massive nuclear Holocaust an entire Kingdom got started amass the chaos. That was not a summary, it was 3 sentences saying that some unknown Kingdom got invaded by someone we know nothing about and honestly don't care about either. And here goes the corrections: In 2187 the sheriff of a settlement in Sarasota; Frederick Willard Johnson, had the police brutally take over the settlement in a desperate fight for power. Later, the sheriff proclaimed himself the King and renamed the settlement into the Kingdom of Sarasota. Many monarchs have ruled since Frederick The Blood Thirsty, all of which have been from the Johnson line, they ruled from the Ca d'Zan Mansion within the settlement. Now, see how that looks a lot better and makes more sense? Not to mention is still bland and does not make me care about who they are or why they were invaded. Composite 4 00:45, 2 May 2009 (UTC) :the was a great little show one a year ago called Jerico. the premise of the was that in present day america, the USA is destroyed by a nuclear attack. all formes of government destroyed millions died and dying. any ways their is a small town that is not hit by the nukes and this show is all abou the Town and how it servives on its own in the aftermath. now since the phycis of the our world are different then that of fallout and that the nuclears bombs were not as powerful as our modern real world ones. It is possible that this small community was banned together by their ruthless sheriff while the world was burning all around them. Templar88 00:57, 2 May 2009 (UTC) Mmm, okay, so Florida was hit brutally during the Great War but Sarasota somehow avoided lethal radiation? I mean, not to mention that their water supply would have been heavily irradiated by how about the rapid spread of the G.E.C.K that used anything in it's path as fertilizer? Mmmm, I guess they magically avoided all those things. You're starting to sound like DRTJR. Composite 4 01:00, 2 May 2009 (UTC) :and your starting sound realy closed minded, again. Templar88 01:07, 2 May 2009 (UTC) ::and you stated that the state was heavily hit. you never spsify what that ment, I had to intervine to describe aspect. Templar88 01:07, 2 May 2009 (UTC) I am getting upset again and that not good for anyone, I am going take a brack for the night and com down. I suggest you also com down and reavalute your position. Templar88 01:10, 2 May 2009 (UTC) Heavily hit means heavily hit. It implies massive radiation, fallout-esque overnight mutations and massive nuclear fires that lasts weeks on end. I am calm, but I am irritated that you do not understand what is faulty in your work. Composite 4 01:12, 2 May 2009 (UTC) ::you know what C4 I could spend the rest of the day and night arguing and listing off all of your injustices. ranking and raving like a incoherent little child getting me nowhere. so instead of posting backhanded comments and senseless bickering, I am going to spend my time and finish the Florida page of a Work Doc. this draft will then be posted '''here where we and members of this site can valuate its contends as it applies to the page's purpose. The purpose being a regional description and area template for other members interested in interacting or writing in the area. We can then talk and discuss the contends. I warn you however, if you delete, alter, change, anything in the draft I will take all of my contributed contents from the page, including your "revised" areas. I'll be back here in aprox. 36 hours. till then a nice day. Templar88 11:59, 2 May 2009 (UTC) What exactly makes you think that's much of a threat? lolol. Oh, and you don't really have the authority to remove my contributions. Composite 4 14:46, 2 May 2009 (UTC)